I'm 19 years old. I am so fucking scared to like anything, to even hint interest in something, because I'm afraid my parents wont approve. I have been taught to hate the things that make me who I am. I can't tell them I'm genderfluid, I can't tell them I'm goth, I can't tell them I'm wiccan. I cant tell them shit. Those are three very big things in my life, that they have never been or wanted to be apart of. Constantly sniveling when I mention something I find interesting, something I like and think is neat. I'm constantly afraid of what everyone thinks but at the same time I wish everyone would die and leave me to myself. I am having a really emotional fucking time right now and I don't know how to deal with anything. I may be 19....but I still feel like the same fucked up 15 year old everyone hated. I'm so tired of my parents guilt trips and manipulation. They make me feel bad for being alive. Its like no matter what I do it will never be good enough. I'm so scared someones going to think I'm faking who I am. I'll never feel good enough for anyone because my real self has never been given approval? I have no idea. I'm pretty high right now so this might be a tad rambly. I really just wish i could be myself.
This entry has been written with a high mind ̳ ̳ ̳ ̳ ͙ ڪ
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